Episode 26: How to Eat Without a Diet Plan

As humans we like having options, however the more options we have the more overwhelmed we might feel. If you don’t have a diet plan and all foods are “allowed”, how do you decide what to eat, right?! Today’s episode explores the paradox of choice and how to get comfortable making your own food decisions.

Episode Transcript:

We have to really learn to embrace decision making, to embrace choice, and we have to learn how to make food decisions for ourself.

INTRO MUSIC: Welcome to The Compassionate Wellness Podcast. I'm Alex Treanor. I'm a Nationally Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and I am so excited you're here. The wellness industry is full of do's and do not's, should's and should not's. But I like to take a different approach. I'll be sharing all things health and wellness from a joyful, real-life compassionate perspective. If you're ready to drop the cookie-cutter approach and create a life you truly love, while eating a cookie or two along the way, let's dive in.

Hey, Friends! Today we are going to be talking about the paradox of choice and also a little bit of decision making, and how those two tied together. The idea for this episode is something I've been thinking about recently, as I've been reading a book on mindfulness. And as I was reading, I came across the phrase, "the power of choice". I thought about how interesting that concept is, that there's so much power and choosing and taking ownership of our choices.

One of the things that came to my mind was actually when I go on a vacation or when I'm traveling, and I'm packing. I think this comes to mind, because I'm sure there's a meme about it; I don't remember exactly what it says. But the idea is that when we go on a trip, we take like 40 outfits, when really we're only going to be there a few days, and you definitely don't need 40 outfits.

This definitely resonates with me. I know if I'm going away for three days, I tend to pick three outfits and then I just keep throwing things into the bag, because I start to consider what if it's going to be cold outside, what if it's hot, what if it starts raining, maybe I want to dress up, or maybe I'll really want to be comfy one day. Or maybe I need some shorts for pajamas and some long pant pajamas. I just want to have all my bases covered and have as many options as possible once I get there!

The thing that's funny is that when I get there, for those three days, I wear those first three outfits and that's usually what I stick with. So I ended up having all these extra things because I like having options, I like having the choice. However, I don't really use all my choices, I use the same things that I kind of go back to every time.

As I was thinking about this idea, I started to look into the psychology of choice and how we make choices, and what feels most beneficial when it comes to how we make choices. And the thing that I found is that, as humans, we love having options. However, having so many options can make things feel overwhelming, or can make it harder to actually make the decision. So for example, I bring 40 outfits for these three days, but I wear the three outfits I picked first because it's just easiest and I don't have to decide and put together an outfit I just go with what came naturally to myself.

This idea, the psychology of choice, really connects with food as well. As I was looking into these different topics, and just kind of exploring over the last week, I found something that said that we make 226 food choices every day. I don't know how they come up with that number, but I feel like that's probably accurate for just the few meals that we eat or having to consider like what choices we want to eat during the day. 226, that feels like a lot

in context, right? For like, let's say three meals and a few snacks? Making 226 decisions is a heavy burden.

I think the same idea that that psychology of choice, this paradox of choice really plays into our food. We like having options, however, it can feel overwhelming. I think that's partially why sometimes we turn to restriction. Because when we give ourselves unconditional permission, it can feel harder. In some aspects, it is nice to have a diet plan or to have food rules or feel like "These are my guidelines. This is the structure that I stick to" because it gives us a way to make decisions about our food. It gives us a sense that there is a right and a wrong or a good or a bad and then all we have to do is make that right choice consistently.

I think that this also then helps to push off responsibility for making our own food choices as well though, because we start to get this sense that as long as I'm sticking to the plan, if I'm making all the right choices, then I will be successful, whatever successful looks like for you. If it's a diet plan, maybe that's losing weight. If it's just overall nutrition, maybe that's good overall health

The thing is, it doesn't always work that way, right? You can make every "right" choice on a plan, and still not see that outcome, especially when it comes to health and to wellness, because there's so many other factors involved.

The other problem with it is that plans just aren't real life, because you might have those things that checkboxes on your diet plan or your food rules, but it's nearly impossible to always make that choice. To always make that right choice in air quotes.

We have to really learn how to be flexible in our thinking and how to accommodate for our situations and our circumstances and learning how to bring in all this information and filter it and make choices and then make a decision and proceed from there. That's a skill. That's a skill we have to develop when it comes to our food and our nutrition. We have to really learn to embrace decision making to embrace choice. And we have to learn how to make food decisions for ourself. And that's really where mindful eating comes in.

The way that I teach mindful eating with my clients is a combination between inner cues and outer cues. So inner cues are going to be the things within ourselves, the hunger level, the fullness level, how satisfying we feel certain foods are, even our thoughts and emotions that can play into our food choices. Those are all important to be mindful of from an inner perspective. It's also important to consider outer cues, the nutrients in the foods that you're eating. So things like how much protein, how many fat grams, how much fiber, carbs, calories, this total picture of what you're actually taking into your body.

When we are truly mindfully eating, it's a combination, a blend of these two perspectives, the inner and the outer world, and being able to consider both and make a choice that fits best for that situation. In that scenario, what's your best move? That's going to change. So that's why it's important that we build the skill of making the decision.

This really takes practice to learn. So if choice is something that feels overwhelming, if that's a challenge, I want to give you an exercise today to get you started with building up your confidence in your ability to make these food choices. We've talked previously about how important unconditional permission to eat any and all foods is to having a healthy relationship with food healthy eating behavior. And I also recognize that is hard to do when we're used to the structure when we're used to having a plan to follow. How do we start learning how to build that skill of making our own choices? That's what this exercise will help you to be able to learn.

That exercise actually comes from Jean Kristeller, PhD. She is the creator of Mindfulness Based Eating Awareness Training and she was also a prior president of the Center of Mindful Eating. So she definitely knows her stuff when it comes to how to eat mindfully. This practice can be found in one of her books called The Joy of Half a Cookie. So if you want to read more about it, or get some more ideas on different exercises, that's where this originally comes from.

So here's what we're gonna do. First, you're going to pick two healthy foods, things that if you were eating off of a food plan, or a diet plan, things that would be on your safe list. Pick two things that are similar in nutrient intake. So maybe that is an apple and an orange, or maybe broccoli and cauliflower, or black or pinto beans, right? Things that are similar in their nutrients, but also different.

You're going to try this exercise when you're in as much of a neutral state as possible. So you don't want to be too hungry, you don't want to be too full. You don't want to be super stressed or have heightened emotions, as neutral of a scenario as you can find yourself in.

You're going to take the two options that you choose, your two healthy foods, and put each on a separate plate. So let's say we'll use broccoli and cauliflower as our example. So you're gonna have some broccoli on a plate and some cauliflower on another plate. And you want to have enough that there's at least a few bites of each. So maybe four or five florets of each on the plate.

You're going to sit down and we're going to bring some mindful awareness first. So we'll start by taking some deep breaths. So you're going to breathe in, you'll breathe out.

You also want to mindfully check in on those internal cues.

What is your hunger and fullness level?

How are you feeling in this moment?

What emotions are present for you?

What thoughts are you having build awareness about how you're feeling in that present moment?

Once you've checked in with yourself now we're going to look at the two options and we're going to mindfully look at them. So we're looking at the shape, the size, the texture, really paying attention to the details that jump out at you. As you're looking at both of these consider on which one you would prefer to eat. As one kind of jumps out at you, I want you to ask yourself:

Why is that the preference right now?

What is it about that one that is standing out to you?

Does it sound good?

Does it remind you have a good memory?

Does it feel like the right thing to eat at that time?

Pay attention to the reasoning that you're telling yourself of why this one feels more preferred in this moment.

As you pick which one is calling to you, next thing we're going to do is take another deep breath and put that chosen plate in front of you and push the other to the side. So let's say you decide that the cauliflower is calling to you, we're going to put the cauliflower plate in front, push the broccoli aside. Take a deep inhale and a deep exhale and reflect on how you came to that decision. Was it more your inner cues more of your outer cues? What was it that brought you to the decision to make cauliflower the chosen option?

Next, we're going to start to actually eat the food. Before we start eating it, we're going to look again at the shape, the size, the texture, the color, really look at and take it in for what it is, as you pick up that food. Maybe you smell it, you feel it in your hands, what does it feel like? Does the texture feel different or about the same as what you expected?

And then you'll start eating it. We're going to be very slow and intentional. We're going to pay attention to the flavors, the textures as they're in your mouth. We're going to pay attention to how satisfying the food is. Maybe you rate it on a 1 to 10 scale of how enjoyable that experience is for you. Slowly you're going to eat that food and savor it either until it's gone or until you feel like you're done eating.

Notice what changed about your hunger and fullness after eating those few bites of the food. Maybe it stayed the same. Maybe you feel a little bit more full. Maybe you feel like you ate something but it wasn't satisfying.

After you reevaluate your hunger and fullness, now we're going to consider that second option. We're going to look at it mindfully maybe smell it, maybe pick it up. How is this food similar or different to the first option that you have?

And then you're going to consider if you also want this option? Do you want the broccoli now that you've already had the cauliflower?

If you do want this option, pay attention to how come. What is it about the food that's calling to you at this time?

And then because you have unconditional permission, you're going to choose if you want to eat this second option. Totally fine if you do, also totally fine if you don't. If you do choose to eat it, you're going to repeat that same process of mindfully eating it, paying attention to how satisfying it is, checking in on your hunger and fullness after you have it. Eating it slowly. That whole process we did with the first food.

When you're either done eating, or if you don't choose to eat it, what we'll do to wrap up this process is take a moment to reflect and to show gratitude for yourself. You're going to reflect on the whole experience. What stood out to you? What did you learn?

You can also take a moment to show gratitude both for the foods that you've been able to eat and also for yourself. Building these skills takes time and I recognize that it can be hard to carve out time right to do this exercise. It's great in theory, we hear about it in theory, but to actually do it takes time. And time is a valuable resource for us. So the fact that you've sat down and made time to do this and to take a few minutes to practice mindful eating and practice decision making is huge. It's worth showing gratitude for yourself for that patting yourself on the back and congratulating yourself for carving out time to prioritize your health and wellness.

We started this activity with "safe" foods in the sense. To continue practicing, you can change up the different food options that you give yourself. As you get more confident you can change the choices to things that feel a little bit harder to decide between. Maybe broccoli and cauliflower are not that complex, maybe not that different in your mind. It's not that hard of a choice. That's a good place to start. Keep it easy to begin with. Then maybe as you feel more confident you try a salty and sweet treat, or maybe two sweet treats. Maybe you have lots of baked goods in your house and it can be hard because you want to eat them all. This is a good way to practice putting a cookie on a plate and a brownie on a plate and practice choosing which one calls to you, which one is actually satisfying. Eating one mindfully and considering if you want the other one. To bring some awareness to that whole process, you can do it with two sweets. You can also do it with a vegetable and something sweet or something salty, whatever your preferred treat style is starting to be able to compare the inner and the outer cues, the things that speak to you, and coming up with how to make decisions when you're presented with these different options.

So we start with something safe, things that you feel are pretty similar and nutrients that you don't have any...well you don't ever have to have guilt around food, but something that in your current state, you won't feel guilt around eating. And then you build and progress from there.

The more that you practice making choices, and also reflecting, understanding why you're making the choices that you're making and how you're making them, the more you practice that the easier it becomes. As we know, the practice is where we build the skills. Because if you start running on the day of a marathon, that's going to be very hard. It's the same with eating, if we start trying to make food choices when we are incredibly stressed, or when we have a really hard day or when we are at a buffet surrounded by things that we want to eat everything. It's hard to learn this skill in that moment.

We learn this skill ahead of time so that we have it in our toolbox ready to pull out in those moments when we need it.

That is what I have for you today. I hope this was helpful for giving you some context on how to start making food decisions and how to start incorporating more unconditional permission into your food routines. If you try out this exercise, I would love to hear your experience about it what you noticed what takeaways or insights you found. I hope you have a wonderful week this week and I look forward to talking with you again next week.

OUTRO MUSIC: Thanks for joining me on this episode of the compassionate wellness podcast. If this message resonated with you, please share it with someone you care about. I'd love to connect with you as well follow me on Instagram @alextreanor.coaching, or visit my website alextreanorcoaching.com. And as a reminder, Treanor spelled kind of goofy, it's T-R-E-A-N-O-R. For any references mentioned in this episode, be sure to check out the show notes. I hope you have a wonderful day and don't forget to make time for something you enjoy.

References:

• The Joy of Half a Cookie: Using Mindfulness to Lose Weight and End the Struggle with Food by Jean Kirsteller

• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/behind-online-behavior/201410/the-psychology-choice

• https://www.keepitusable.com/blog/the-psychology-of-choice-how-we-make-decisions/