Episode 15: A Fresh Perspective On Balance

How do you define balance when it comes to your nutrition and physical activity routines? This episode offers a new perspective that allows for both structure and flexibility when working towards behavior change.

Episode Transcript:

This idea of balance that we have sounds awesome in theory, but it feels very rigid in practice.

INTRO MUSIC: Welcome to The Compassionate Wellness Podcast. I'm Alex Treanor. I'm a Nationally Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and I am so excited you're here. The wellness industry is full of do's and do not's, should's and should not's. But I like to take a different approach. I'll be sharing all things health and wellness from a joyful, real-life compassionate perspective. If you're ready to drop the cookie-cutter approach and create a life you truly love, while eating a cookie or two along the way, let's dive in.

Hi, friends! Welcome to The Compassionate Wellness Podcast. Today we are talking about balance, the ever elusive balance. On this podcast we talk a lot about the harm of diet mentality. We talk about how we know that foods are not good or bad. And we talk about how we have permission to eat any and all kinds of foods.

And at the same time, we also know that the foods that we eat do have an impact on our overall health and wellness. I often hear the incongruence that comes up (seemingly) with these two concepts and how we reconcile them. How do we reconcile the idea that the foods I eat are going to impact my health, but that doesn't mean that foods are good or bad, right? They seem a little counterintuitive. Because both of these things are true. We can't deny one or the other.

What I often hear when working with clients is this desire for balance that comes up nearly in every session. When we are outlining: What is your vision? What are you hoping to accomplish in the end state of your wellness goals? What do you want to achieve? inevitably, I hear about balance.

Today I want to offer a different perspective on balance, maybe a new way we can think about it, because what I hear as people talk about what balance means to them is this image...I'm trying to think, let's think of something we balance...like a pencil that you're balancing on your finger, right? Or some chopsticks, something like that, that you're balancing, and it's steady. That idea really conveys this even distribution, like it's perfectly balanced, it's steady, it's set.

The problem with that is it's not real life, because real life is not steady. There is always going to be something that throws that off, right? You have a meeting and end up having to work late, and now that perfect balance that you thought you've achieved or your plan is disrupted. Sometimes with balance, I hear the idea of sticking to an 80/20 rule, eat healthy foods 80% of the time and fun foods 20% of the time. And that maybe feels like a good balance. The problem is, it still has that indication of good or bad, right? 80% of the time you eat "good" 20% of the time, you can eat "bad", you can have your cheat meals, in a sense.

So it still perpetuates that mindset of diet mentality.

So this idea of balance that we have sometimes it sounds awesome in theory, right? But it feels very rigid in practice. May I just suggest a new way to think about balance that fits real life a little bit better? And that would be to think of it as being in harmony instead of in balance.

When we look at harmony, it has different parts, but they come together in a way that is beautiful. So the image that we see, that fits a little bit better, is maybe if we think of a surfer on a wave, right? They're in harmony with the ocean; the ocean is fluid. It's constantly changing. And in response to that the surfer moves in a way that matches the energy and continues pushing them forward. It's really a subtle change between balance and harmony. But I think there's a lesson there because the harmony is a more fluid balance. It's more flexible.

When it comes to our nutrition, and finding solutions that work for us long term, things we can stick with and that we enjoy and that don't feel exhausting, the skill we need to learn is how to adjust. How to surf right? How to move with life that happens and the circumstances that happen in our life and to adjust and to pivot and to do all of that while maintaining something that continues to push us forward.

And really...surprise...doesn't this sound like mindfulness?! It's being present; it's being aware of what are your values and what is most important. It's recognizing when challenges come up and instead of defaulting to a rule or an 80/20 mindset, or a good/bad mindset, being able to think through and say, "What is my best choice here? What can I do that best serves me?" And that comes down to being present, being mindful, and recognizing the choice points that pop up along the journey.

I want to recognize that this can feel challenging. That's normal! It's challenging because it is challenging, because creating sustainable routines is challenging and takes effort. One thing that's hard about it is it takes a lot of decision making. If you're present that often, you're constantly having to stay aware and to recognize those choice points and make a decision. If it's helpful, you can give yourself some kind of guidelines, or something that helps you to make those decisions, some kind of structure. The important thing is that it remains flexible, and works with you rather than feeling oppressive and rule-based.

It's kind of like, do you remember the classic movie Pirates of the Caribbean where they talk about having a pirates code? and Captain Barbossa (hopefully, you know, the movie) Captain Barbossa says

MOVIE CLIP: "The code is more what you'd call guidelines than actual rules."

That's what we're aiming for. We don't need rules, we don't need food rules. We don't need a code that feels strict and mandatory, we need guidelines that helped give us some structure and also let us live our life in a way that's enjoyable.

So when you recognize these choice points, what you can do is recognize it for what it is. Look at the options and make your best choice. There's a great book that I highly recommend by Dr. Michelle Seger, it's called The Joy Choice. This is one of the concepts that she talks about, this idea that life happens. And our plans are not always going to work out, especially with health and wellness goals. So setting habits or these these tiny goals that we hear about so often, it's not always realistic when it comes to health behavior change, because there's so many complex factors that tie in with health behavior change.

The idea instead is to recognize when something is not going to plan. And remembering that that's your opportunity to make a choice and to choose, she calls it the joy choice, or I think she also says the imperfect, perfect option or the perfect imperfect option. Being okay with knowing, that it isn't going to be 100% because that is the harmony, right? Knowing that there's beauty in both celebrating birthdays, and also eating a meal that feels very nutritious and gives you energy and that you feel affirms the goals that you have.

That's what I have to offer you today, just a simple short message, maybe a little bit of a reframing on how we think about balance and allowing it to be more flexible, and allowing us to incorporate harmony into our routines in a way that allows room for joy and allows room for the fun things of life just as much as it allows room for us to work towards those bigger goals of health and wellness. Hope this was helpful, and I look forward to talking with you next week.

OUTRO MUSIC: Thanks for joining me on this episode of the compassionate wellness podcast. If this message resonated with you, please share it with someone you care about. I'd love to connect with you as well follow me on Instagram @alextreanor.coaching, or visit my website alextreanorcoaching.com. And as a reminder, Treanor spelled kind of goofy, it's T-R-E-A-N-O-R. For any references mentioned in this episode, be sure to check out the show notes. I hope you have a wonderful day and don't forget to make time for something you enjoy.